


Here and Now

by Titti



Series: Twenty Week challenge [1]
Category: Firefly
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-15
Updated: 2005-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 21:58:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River doesn't like to wait for the future; she's happier in the present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here and Now

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Twenty Week challenge at http://www.livejournal.com/community/20weeks/411.html  
> Character: River

River is sitting on her bunk. Simon is right behind her, trying to brush her hair. He pulls at the knots and she cringes, but she doesn't cry, doesn't run away, because she's getting better, or as better as she'll ever be, and she knows how much this means to Simon.

Today, it's her birthday, and Kaylee has prepared a cake. There are badly wrapped gifts as well. It's a surprise. They've been very careful to keep things from her, but she knows. She knows everything; past, present, and future blend in her head until she sounds crazy. She wishes she were crazy; instead, she's stuck in this place where quantum physics make no sense.

"I'm done, mei mei." Simon stands up, and takes her hands. He's looking at her with a love that has survived too much, a love that her parents didn't have. "You look absolutely beautiful."

He's lying; she can see her reflection in the mirror, and she's not *that* crazy or deluded, but she smiles at him, because River wants her brother to be happy. "Thank you."

He cocks his head, looking at her with shock. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm...I'm okay. The drugs are helping." Another lie, but if she can push away the past and the future, she can concentrate on the here and now. At least for a while.

"Let's go downstairs. Dinner must be ready." Simon leads her outside, with a little smile on his face, and that makes River hold on to the present a little longer.

As they get closer, River can feel them. Mal is worried, he probably thinks that she'll freak out. Jayne is antsy, and River can imagine him with a hand on his Vera. Zoe and Wash are happy, but they usually are unless they are fighting. The Shepherd is hopeful, while Inara is content. Finally, there is Kaylee, who is more excited than Simon is, certainly more excited that River is.

When they reach the room, everyone says/screams 'happy birthday'. River smiles, but gets closer to Simon, almost hiding behind him. She's not really afraid, but it's easier to hide than tell them that she knew.

"Look, we even have a cake. Book made it... looks better than when I make 'em." Kaylee comes and hugs her, and for a moment River is filled with Kaylee's joy.

"Nice." Keep it simple, she reminds herself. It helps others understand her.

"Maybe we should open the gifts before dinner," Simon suggests, and River knows that her brother is happy that she's feeling better and worried that she'll lose it again.

"Shiny." The paper is so shiny, and River runs her fingers over the paper. She feels Kaylee's anticipation run through her like water in a summer day, but she doesn't share it. River looks up at Simon, and he's still smiling at her, and that's why she doesn't look forward to the future. She's happy to stay in the here and now.


End file.
